Thursday, February 05, 2009

This Winter has done me in.


Im not shy, or quiet, about my distaste for cold weather. It’s a frequent topic in this blog. Read any post from November-March, and you’re bound to see multiple entries where I bemoan the cruelty of cold temperatures, threaten lawsuits against the winter season, muse about drinking myself into a stupor until May, and make seemingly sincere promises about bearing children someday—if the temps will hit 70 FOR JUST ONE BLESSED HOUR.

 

I’ve finally settled on a solution.

 

I’m going to move back to the West Coast. This will hopefully occur before the winter season of 2010 officially finishes me off and plasters my frozen remains to a sidewalk. That means my liver and I need to somehow make it through these last few months of The Winter of ’09. If we make it till spring, I think I’ll be lucid enough to begin my job search somewhere on the coast of Southern-ish California. I’ll spend the spring and summer thawing out, and will hopefully secure a job somewhere far west and south of here before the leaves begin their descent off the trees.

 

I will also make myself a T-shirt that says “I survived 3 WINTERS IN NORTH CAROLINA.”

I’ll wear it proudly, with flip-flops, next December, as I prance around in shorts.

 

Perusing El Internet-o today, I stumbled across a site that calculates how far your current salary would go in a different city. Depressingly, housing costs are 230% higher in San Diego and Southern LA.

 

Which means I’ll be living in a cardboard box next year.

 

No matter. Additionally, the site also informed me that to maintain my current standard of living in So. Cal, I’ll need to make approximately $30k more than I’m currently raking in.

 

So my choices are to either auction myself off as a mail-order bride to a rich Southern Californian or move in with my parents.

 

At this point, either of those options sounds quite appealing, because I’m quite convinced I can’t possibly take another winter out here. *

 

 

*And that, my friends, is proof that 2 ½ years in North Carolina has not taken the Californian out of this Ice Pop. 

3 comments:

Lizzie said...

I cant wait to come visit your nicely decorated cardboard box!

I owe you an email

Stay warm - it's 8 here today.

I love you

Tamara said...

Okay, I'm really laughing now. Cardboard boxes aren't so bad. You can always doodle on the walls without worrying about having to repaint...And just think, you can eat frozen yogurt year round if you live in a sunnier place! Tee hee.

Carson said...

I can't believe you survived three winters. Meanwhile, I went swimming in the sunshine today, then for a run. California. As far as I am concerned, it is the only place in the U.S to live. Once you've lived here, you can't really "live" anywhere else. Come on home, JoJo. You belong here.