I know that ordering cable may not seem like a revolutionary statement to 99.995% of the planet, but for me it’s effing earth shattering. I am the type of person who would proudly slap a “Kill your TV” bumper sticker on my car, if I so happened to find said sticker lying around. I have never, in my alone-living life, had cable, much less possessed a TV. Occasionally, in college a TV was part of the furniture, depending on who my roommates were, but when it’s been in my free powers, I’ve resisted the evil contraptions.
Which, I realize, makes me sound a bit self-righteous to the TV-watching world. Like, yeah, I’m too good to waste hours being sucked in by shitty reality shows. Like, yeah, I prefer to read and hang out in coffee shops. I realize the perception I’m projecting. People probably assume that I grow soybeans to make my own tofu and wear clothes I’ve salvaged from curtains. Which actually isn’t true at all. I buy my tofu from the grocery store.
So, why am I crossing over to the evil side? Bluntly: Boredom. I’ve had too many nights of staring at the walls while drinking.
Being that I’m single and eternally child-free, I don’t have a problem of not enough hours in a day. Al contrario, the most exciting agenda I have every evening is trying to decide between eating beans and rice or pasta. Or drinking Hooegaarden or wine. After I’ve conquered this obstacle, I’m left to figure out which wall to analyze.
I go through phases with books. At times, I’m perpetually book-laden, and I live and breathe whatever novel I happen to be addicted to. But then I go through dry spells, á la now, where I can’t for the life of me get excited about any form of text on any form of paper.
I recently subscribed to Netflix. I’m totally in the 90s now, which is a bit breathtaking, but I’m getting a little tired of watching movies on my laptop. It doesn’t lend itself to movies at Joanna’s house, for one, so I’ve realized that with my Netflix addition, maybe I should purchase a small, tasteful-looking TV to go along with it. Which has led to my decision to order cable.
I’m not going to be normal and order the full-cable package. I’m going very basic. Just $9.99 a month for 10 local channels. I figure that will still keep me within my anti-TV morality boundaries. No DVR, no fancy digital package. Just the basics, to get me through those nights when I’ve watched my Netflix movie, drained a bottle of wine, and have this epiphany that there’s a gap between my crown molding and the ceiling.