Friday, August 01, 2008

My oven is alive and torments me

For the first second eighth time or, forget it—I’ve lost count. POINT: my oven is alive and likes to wake me up at three in the morning. No, I’m not dropping acid. It beeps, really loudly, and this is what flashes across the screen: ERROR F:11 FOR SERVICE CALL 1-800-873-9736 (Editorial note: I made that number up because my memory is not that good. Contrary to popular belief.)
And the beeping is loud. I’m half deaf and a deep sleeper and the effing oven still wakes me up. So I stumble out of bed, hit the “Cancel” button, and it stops. And I shuffle back to bed.

Note: If you know why my oven is tormenting me in this manner and/or if you’re an oven-repair man, who also happens to read my blog, please come over to fix it. Alternatively, if you’re Andy Garcia, and you happen to be reading my blog, we can just sleep at your house, and then we won’t have to worry about the oven disturbing our lovemaking sleep.

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